Mum Shaming and Me

I was talking to Joanacapelo about all the different times we had personally experienced shaming when out and about or even online! Sometimes I think the mum Facebook groups can be just about shaming other mums! Here are some examples of topics that I’ve seen causing controversy through my own experience!

Breastfeeding

This is a crazy one! I have been out and about where people have stared when I feed my son by the boob and then I’ve also had people ask whether my bottle is express milk if I feed him a bottle! It is crazy! How is it a strangers business how I feed my baby! When he’s older will people comment when. I buy him lunch…probably…

Breastfeeding number two– express bottle feeding! From a few weeks old when I started leaking crazy amounts I saved my milk. My husband or me when we are out and about, have used a bottle to feed little man. I had so many people telling me that it will stop him liking breastfeeding or that I should do it full time! Basically everyone has an opinion on your breasts if you choose to feed your baby that way.

Breastfeeding point three– just so you know, women don’t like being told you don’t understand feeding, while they feed their baby!

Multiple times while I’ve been physically feeding I’ve been told ‘bitty’ or asking if I find it weird as breasts are sexual… I’m not sure where these comments come from? Bitty is such a weird one as I swear the TV show the man was about 40 not 10 weeks old and unable to digest food?

Final breastfeeding one– when people tell me my boobs will sag… I don’t care! I pushed a baby out of my vagina! Do you honestly think saggy boobs are my biggest problem! I am sure when people decide to get pregnant they don’t think saggy boobs first! Also why do these people care! The only person who sees them is my husband and he prefers my son fed to pert boobs!

Out and About

As you can see… My son is happiest on the floor! Not so much a mumma shame one because no one has ever said anything but I imagine that when people hear him screaming then see him quiet on the floor while I eat lunch I get comments behind my back! Also the fact I am worried about what other people think even though my son is happy shows how deep this mumma shaming goes!

No socks – My son is always in his pram with a blanket and cover but hates socks, when I get into a pub or wherever I am going I will get him out and people will say ALL THE TIME ‘no socks?’- AAAHHH it’s none of your business! I hate it! Stop questioning his sockless life! If I wanted him in socks I’d put them on! And when it’s freezing I put up with the screams and force them on… He kicks them off in a minute but I try!

Coconut Oil– when someone had cradle cap on a baby group I said that I had used coconut oil and a comb… As advised by my midwife… Oh no… How could I suggest that! Didn’t I know oil breaks a babies skin… Why not ask where I got my information from and I could have said my midwife? Instead it goes straight to the fact I’m hurting my baby!

Baby weight– every Facebook group has one! ‘my little one is 15 stone how about you’. These girls must know from the centiles their babies are big and some mums are having issues but they post every week about their giant babies making hormonal sleep deprived women feel like their children are too small! My little one is slap bang in the middle, he is average size, but unless asked I don’t post his weight as I know this can be a massive trigger!

Carriers– when I walk the dog I use a more sturdy carrier… Try picking up a dog poo when your using a cloth carrier… All it takes is his head to jerk and he could fall out! However mum shamers are out and about so make sure to keep yourself hidden and never upload a photo! You will get told it will ruin his hips, one friend who posted a photo was sent articles, strangers will ask if your baby is too young! I use it for a 20 minute walk most days, he is fine, I’m not using it constantly and before these people say your breaking your child’s body they should get all the facts!

‘Have you lost weight yet‘- I hate this one!So many people ask if I am losing the weight! It’s no one’s business and you can see if I’ve lost weight before you ask so either I look smaller and you can compliment me or I don’t and your comment will make me feel bad! Don’t shame mums into starving themselves when they are already tired and hormonal!

My worst one– My husband was ill at home so I went my sister’s for some help! I didn’t bring the right clothes and was at the till buying a shirt for little man for a photoshoot when he started screaming. The woman smiled at me and asked how old, I told her and went and waited by the lift for my sister. The woman who didn’t know we were related told my sister my son was too young to be out the house! I hated this! He was 5 weeks which apparently means he didn’t need clothes and even if I wasn’t buying something for him- who cares! He wasn’t her baby! Judgey people make my blood boil!

Most my stories are caused by lack of knowledge! People don’t know my son hates socks, they don’t know I’m trying to be healthy, they don’t know I only use my carrier for safety reasons walking the dog, or that my bottles carry express milk! Don’t judge mums! We are tired and hormonal and you don’t know the whole story!

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